One More Funny Post

::Karl Haas voice:: Hello everyone:

Forgive me for being slightly truant as regards my posting lately. I've been rather busy with school and such. As I was thinking about my past posts, I realize that I haven't posted on something serious in a long time. I have several ideas in queue, but for now, here's one more funny post for y'all to enjoy. Since it's been a while since I posted funny names and places I found at work, I have a huge long list of things which currently takes the form of five Post-It notes all posted together on my desk. Oh, plus two more. Plus another one that just has one note on it. Yes, they've been accumulating for a while now. So here they are:

"William Ogg"--folks, obviously this man is from the Stone Age. Let's do our best to welcome him into the 21st century.

"Thaddeus Rogozinski"--no one has ever spelled his name correctly. Ever.

Guy's name: "Mohammed Salim." His wife's name: "Sue."

Guy's last name: "Debardelaben." First name: "Joe."

And finally, I found a document on the infamous "James Bond"--apparently he moved to Georgia and settled down with a Bond girl named "Suzanne."

Random Occurences
Most documents have a section called the "Mortgagee Clause" which lists the name of the bank that's lending money and their address. The bank I work in, Regions, is very particular about their mortgagee clauses, and unless it specifically says "Regions Bank DBA Regions Mortgage" we need to send a letter to change it. But one overzealous insurance company went a little too far and put a mortgagee clause on their document that said:

"Regions Bank DBA Regions Mortgage DBA Regions Bank."

Wait a second....

One day a phone rang in an empty cubicle on the other side of mine. A woman with a mildly thick accent replied to the phone, telling it that the woman who inhabited the cubicle was vacationing in the mountains:

"She's not here, she's on top of the mountain! She's like Moses, she's about to receive the Ten Commandments!"

The city of "Paw Paw, Michigan"--Baloo's hometown.

The city of "Effingham, Illinois"--populated by mad cussing people.

The city of "Lincoln Park, Ohio"--hometown of the band Linkin Park, who apparently just ripped off the city's name for their band's and dumbed down the spelling.

The street of "Central Avenue" in "Middletown, Ohio"--people who really like to be the center of attention right in the middle of things live here.

The street of "Talking Rocks Road" in "Reeds Spring, Missouri"--apparently the disciples kept silent here.

Places made up of only certain types of people:
"Cashiers, North Carolina"
"Fingerboard Road" in "Monrovia, Minnesota" (guitarists and string players live here)

A series of similar places:
The street of "Kilkenny Drive" in "Houston, Texas"--is this South Park, or...?
The city of "Kilmichael, Mississippi"--like the previous one, with a different objective.
The city of "Kilgore, Texas"--home of conservatives who voted for Bush in 2000 and burned down movie theaters that showed An Inconvenient Truth.
And the city of "Killen, Alabama"--like all the above but with a conveniently broader application.

And finally, here is the absolute single weirdest address of all time:
"276 E. Inauguration Day
Santa Claus, Indiana"

No, I swear I didn't make that up.

Like I said, a serious post will be forthcoming, probably on Monday--no school, no work! And until then:

"Remember, remember,
The fifth of November,
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I know of no reason
Why the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot."


Darth_Harbison said...

alol . . . wow . . .

We live in a VERY strange place . . .

Mike Morabito said...

What a wonderful post to go with such an opertunistic employee at Asurant. That is awesome that your work shows you all the wonderful names of so many places throughout the GREAT old U.S. of A.

In addition, would it be possible to stop the train to Chicago in Effingham, Illinois so that we can finally cuss to our hearts content and not be condemned for different way of conversation?

-Mike Morabito

Darth_Harbison said...

I forgot to point this out before, but I think it's worthy of note . . . you forgot to note the irony that "Kilgore" is located in none other than Texas, the home state of our illustrious president.

Courtney said...

this post is so much fun! i thoroughly enjoy it.

Rae said...

Rae's 12th grade math teacher: Ms. Ogg... and yes, she was from the stone age.

Anonymous said...


I love your random posts like these! How on earth do you find all of this information? Are you really bored at work, or school, or both?

Thanks for the laughs!

Anonymous said...

Oh! And as a sidenote, I love V for Vendetta.


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