Rambling Rantings And Ravings On A Friday Night From A Guy Who's Processed Way Too Many New Loans

... and I mean WAY too many new loans.

Work did have its upsides today, however. I took a cue from Kati3 and began to notice some of the more interesting names and places on the documents. Three in particular stood out:
1) An address: "8 Memory Lane" (perhaps we should take a trip down there)
2) A name: "Michael Jordan" (he lives in Tujunga, California, apparently)
and 3) A phrase: "Mary Beard, an unmarried man." (um... there's just way too much there to comment)

And on the other upside of work, I broke my own record for speed today. The department standard, which we new hires are supposed to reach by September 1st, is to process 85 docs an hour, and be in production for 6.5 hours each day. That comes out to about 550 docs a day (552.5, to be exact). Being rather precocious, I passed 85 docs an hour maybe 2 weeks ago, and now I'm not satisfied with myself unless I'm consistently at 100 or higher. But today I got a very large batch of docs that were all the same format, and I hit 122 docs an hour. That's just slightly less than 30 seconds on each document. And, at the end of the day, I had processed a grand total of 650 docs--100 over standard--in only 5.78 hours.

I must confess I'm slightly proud of myself.

But now since I'm sure you've all just been holding your collective breath desperately waiting for the great "3" story, I'll present it here in all of its glory.

During the class part of our training, we had three guys who were "Senior Data Processors," also known as SMEs (Subject Matter Experts), who helped us and answered our questions. The first two were named James and Anh (pronounced "ah-n"). Then a third guy joined us, maybe halfway through the second week, whose name was Thanh (pronounced like "Anh" with a "t" in the front). I picked up the names quickly, but it took Katie a little longer. One night she asked me, "What's that guy's name again?" I answered that it was Thanh, like Anh but with a "th." I added as a joke that Anh's name was really spelled the same, Thanh, but the "th" in front of his name was silent. Katie laughed, and after a short pause said, "Well, there's a silent 3 in my name, so I guess it makes sense." That had me in stitches for several minutes, until one of the SMEs (probably Thanh himself) came over to check Katie's work and I had to control myself. When we exchanged phone numbers several days later, I entered her into my phone as Kati3, telling her that I had discovered where the silent 3 was ("That's very leet of you," she replied). And she has been Kati3 ever since.


Mike Morabito said...


You are hillarious!!

Oh my gosh...I love the excerpts from your work...haha I had no idea that Michael Jordan lives in Tujunga, California..haha...and that hahaha Mary Beard is an unmarried man...and so my question is: does Mary Beard have a beard? I feel like that would be the only appropriate thing for him to have at this point. haha His parents must have been so cruel (see Johnny Cash's song about "a boy named Sue").


And Congrats on seriously hucking...just getting down right violent on the docs at work...that's awesome bro. Way to "get-er-done"!

ahh yes...and I love the story about Anh and Thanh...so funny. And I love how Anh has the silent 'th'. haha
And Kati3 is perfectly legal leet...good work on that guys...good story.

AJ, keep it up, you're hillarious.
-Mike Morabito

Darth_Harbison said...
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Darth_Harbison said...

I have a couple of comments here . . .

1) "We are but poor, lost, circus performers . . .," to quote what is quite possibly the greatest comedy ever made. Have you even considered the possibility that Mary Beard may, in fact, be the legendary "bearded lady" who haunts all circus sideshows? And perhaps the "lost" in Vizzini's comment would in this case relate to dear Mary's state of gender identity. She is, after all, a bearded lady . . . so unless she's a dwarf, it must be a fairly hard life. Cut her some slack, will ya?

2) Dude NO. While I certainly won't deny that "Kati3" is proper (if not complete), I will indeed deny that it is "legal leet" and "very leet of you." Any TRUE . . . uh . . . geek should know that if someone says "leet," they are not saying "leet," but "1337," or possibly "133t." "Leet" is just the (if you'll pardon the religious discrimination) amish way to spell it. (Note: I wouldn't go to the stake for this.)

3) I'm in a really wacky mood again . . . you'd better guard your website guestbook carefully . . .

Darth_Harbison said...
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Katie said...

Three thoughts:

A) I am NOT leet. I am L337. There's a difference.

B) I loved this blog, because it made me look funny. I love looking, er, being funny.

C)Don't get too proud of your docs per hour. I'm catching up. I'ma kick your trash at that... some day.

Oh all right, just for kicks we'll throw in a fourth thought -

D)I loved this blog. The whole thing. Well written, I was entertained the whole time. Five points.